i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
