i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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