pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize