Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
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You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
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i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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