She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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