idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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