He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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