Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
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best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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