Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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