Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My vagina just clenched in fear
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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