My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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