yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
