question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
