a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
