my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
