She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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