i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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