And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
