yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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