i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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