I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
