this boner is exhausting
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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