Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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