In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
