i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
