So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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