i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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