So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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