she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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