babies were throwing up all over the place
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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