He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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