dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Alive.
So much puke
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
