Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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