Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
