You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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