I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
They took my balls.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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