I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
false alarm, still single
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
