Your tits are I can't wait for
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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