No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
