fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
