Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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