and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
