I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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