No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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