I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
