Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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