im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
