i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
