Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just found puke in my bra..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
