if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
