Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
