Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
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My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
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Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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