Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
