Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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