hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
