when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize