kristin has been a bad kristin
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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