in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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