So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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