WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my shit smells like andre
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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