She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
